11 Tips on How to Get Over a Break Up
Firstly, if you’re reading this because you are currently going through heartbreak, I’m sooo sorry.
Sending you and your broken heart a big virtual hug.
Heartbreak is the worst.
You will get through this! Even if it feels like the end of the world, it’s not.
I often wished there existed a Heartbreak Hotel where you could check in, be cocooned by all the soft and kind things, be held like a baby until you feel a bit better, and then order your favorite snacks from room service.
Although, after my very first heartbreak at the delicate age of 23, I probably would have needed to be committed first for at least a week before checking into the Heartbreak Hotel and Spa.
The first time my heart was broken, I became completely unhinged.
I had been blindsided by the break up and totally lost my mind (and pride). I drove to my newly ‘X-ed’ boyfriend’s building in Hollywood in the middle of the night and tricked his landlord into buzzing me in.
I then proceeded to knock on my X’s apartment door, begging and crying for what felt like HOURS with no response. Eventually, a neighbor came creeping out from around a corner brandishing a gun because he thought I was a burglar.
Not wanting to be shot, I finally gave up and wailed like a banshee in my car all the way home.
As the saying goes, ‘when one door closes, another one opens’. That door was closed, and I needed to accept it, turn around, and look for the open door.
It was a long and painful road, but thankfully, I did eventually learn my lesson after that first breakup and like to think I handled the subsequent ones with a bit more dignity. (Barring the one I detail in my memoir, ‘Psychic Junkie’ when psychics and cyber stalking got thrown into the mix and all hell broke loose.).
Okay, back to you. Please don’t be me.
Here Are 11 Tips on how to get over heartbreak faster and without losing your dignity:
The hardest thing is to accept what is. It doesn’t matter what may or may not happen in the future. All you have is the present moment. And at the present moment, you are broken up. The first step is to accept that.
That chapter is closed.
Now, just like in a book, sometimes characters reappear in later chapters, but for right now, you need to accept that the relationship as you knew it is over.
I’m sorry. I know it’s hard. If you need to take a moment to scream and cry, I’ll wait….
Social Media. I know, this is a tough one. But as the former Queen of Cyber Stalking, I can promise you that you are only hurting yourself and prolonging your pain by doom scrolling through their social media.
Block.
Unfollow.
Change their name in your phone to ‘Not for Me’ or better yet, block and/or erase them. At least for the next 30 days.
You are wounded, and you don’t want to keep ripping off the bandaid by seeing what they may or may not be doing out there in the world without you. To give yourself a fighting chance, you need to minimize any risk of re-injury to your heart right now.
No texting/calling/sending-smoke-signals to your ex.
No contact begins now.
Look around your space and gather up any items that evoke memories or emotions linked to your past relationship.
I understand if you’re not ready to throw things away; they might be nice memories one day when you can look back on past loves with nostalgia.
Just get a box or a bag and throw it all in there, then put it in the back of your closet or under your bed. You can decide what to do with them at a later date.
You don’t need any reminders in your face right now.
Stop beating yourself up and tearing yourself down.
Breakups and Broken Hearts are a part of life. (A very crappy, not fun, part of life). Listen to Taylor Swifts ‘The Tortured Poets Department’. If she can get her heart broken while on top of the world what hope is there for the rest of us?
No one escapes heartbreak. Even your exes. Sooner or later, one way or another, heartbreak will get them too. Who knows? Perhaps they’ll even be heartbroken over you when they realize you’ve moved on and found much greater happiness without them.
Ms Taylor took her broken-hearted lemons and made billion-dollar lemonade. She survived and thrived, and you will too.
Journal it out. Write the bad poetry. As Carrie Fisher once said, ‘Take your broken heart, turn it into art.’
Be kind to yourself. You’re going through a rough patch. Treat yourself like you would a good friend going through hard times.
Buy yourself some fresh flowers or a new plant. Treat yourself to your favorite meal. Take the bubble baths. Get some Lavender essential oil. Acquire some rose quartz. Pet your dog/cat/iguana. Wash your face. Fix your hair. Put on your favorite outfit. Get out in nature, hug some trees and look up at the sky.
It’s a big universe out there and one day this period of heartbreak will be a distant memory.
Create your soundtrack. Allow yourself some sad heartbreak songs that help you cry it out, but make sure to follow them up on your playlist with some inspiring songs that will help lift you up. (I like ‘Flowers’ by Miley Cyrus.)
Turn up the volume and move your body to get some good vibes flowing.
Stop bombarding your ex with your psychic energy.
Even if you’re not texting/calling your ex, subconsciously they can feel it if you’re obsessing about them.
It creates an energetic pressure that literally repels them and keeps them away (keeping them away isn’t necessarily a bad thing but who wants to think they’re repelling their ex?).
Do NOT get psychic readings about them!
Cut the energetic cords between you so that it creates space. Space for you to heal. Space for you to grow. And even- dare I say it- space for them to miss you.
There’s a reason why exes tend to come sniffing back around when you start to get over them. They may not consciously realize you're moving on, but somehow they can feel it in the air. The energy has changed. Something feels different that they can’t put their finger on and they start wondering if you’re no longer sitting on the shelf waiting for them. We are all wired to want something we can’t have.
If they come back around when you’ve started moving on don’t fall for it unless you’re prepared for round 2 and another heartbreak.
When you find yourself obsessing about them and what they may or may not be doing, redirect the focus on YOU. What are YOU doing?
One technique you can use when you find yourself in a loop of negative thoughts is to imagine a large red Stop sign. Put your hands over your heart, take a few deep breaths, and gently redirect your focus to yourself and what you are doing.
If you don’t like what you’re doing, find something else to do. Call a friend. Take your dog for a walk. Go out for coffee. Put on a song and dance it out. Sign up for a class. Plan a short getaway. Start creating new memories. Perhaps you neglected friends or activities you used to love during your relationship, now’s a good time to reconnect and get back to doing things you love.
There is a special kind of freedom to being single so take advantage of it while it lasts.
Write ‘The List’. Create a dream lover and relationship in your mind and, as if you’re putting in an order with the Universe, write out a list of all their qualities. Make it as detailed as possible.
Be careful what you wish for because this is very powerful! Although it’s best not to focus too much on physical characteristics, you can include a couple in there if you have deal breakers. It’s most important to focus on their character, values, personality traits, how they treat you, likes, dislikes, basic compatibility, etc.
To make it even more fun, include every awesome quality your ex was not. (Don’t argue with me. They weren’t that awesome.) At the end of your list, write “or even better”. That’s it. You can refer to your list from time to time or just tuck it away somewhere safe.
Hypnotic daydreams. Manifest your next exciting chapter by hypnotic daydreaming.
You can daydream about spending time with the Dream Lover you just created.
You can daydream that you’re already over your ex and living your best life.
What is hypnotic daydreaming and how do I do it?
Well, I created a hypnosis recording called Daydream Believin’, and it’s free for you to stream and download on my website.
Right now, it's not about manifesting a new relationship, as you most likely need to focus on some more healing first.
Instead, it's about raising your vibration overall, which will, in turn, attract good things to you in general.
You are never alone. We all have a Celestial Cheering Team in the sky watching over us and guiding us. All you need to do is learn to listen to the still, small voice within.
Learn to communicate with your Higher Self and Spirit Guides and ask them for support, encouragement and healing.
You can do this on your own with meditation or self-hypnosis, but many people find it easier to be guided the first time.
Hypnosis is a perfect way to connect to our Celestial Support Team as our subconscious mind is our connection to the spiritual realm.
You may be interested in my signature session Be Your Own Psychic If you’ve never done hypnosis, or hypnotherapy, think an interactive, guided meditation with a goal.
Things will get better.
You will move through and past this to even better things!
Sending you all the good vibes.
🧡 Sarah.
If you’d like to experience hypnotic daydreaming, I invite you to sign in below for a gifted session. While you’re listening to the Daydream Believer hypnoaudio, I suggest you daydream about a time in the near future when you’re completely over your heartbreak and living your best life. This is called future pacing and will help speed up your healing process.
Check the box to join our Moon Magic Circle and receive bimonthly New & Full Moon Hypnotic Spell guided hypnosis in your inbox. Each spell is tailored to each moon's unique astrological energy. You'll receive a welcome email and then just 2 emails a month with hypnotic moon spells for each New & Full Moon. Together with your Daydream Believer practice, this simple, sustainable hypnotic practice helps you release, reset, recharge, and harness the power of lunar cycles to manifest your intentions into reality—all completely free. I respect your inbox! 🧡 Sarah
I'm Sarah Lassez, Certified Hypnotherapist and Author of Psychic Junkie. (INFP, HSP, ♈︎ Aries Sun, ♋︎ Cancer Moon, animal lover & California Mountain Girl with her 🧡 in Paris)
For years, I obsessively searched for answers from psychic after psychic. After thousands of readings over decades, the evidence was clear: 97% of those future predictions never came true.
Many moons later, I finally found what I'd been searching for—a psychic who was truly accurate, had my highest good at heart, and connected me to the divine guidance I needed.
That psychic? It was me. My journey down the psychic rabbit hole wasn't in vain, I discovered something valuable! The "best psychic near me" wasn't a stranger with a crystal ball or tarot cards— as Edgar Cayce, the most documented psychic of all time, said: "You are your own best psychic." I am my own best psychic.
I learned this truth the hard way so you don't have to. Now I help others bypass the psychic middleman and connect directly to their Higher Self and Celestial Support Team—where the most honest, accurate guidance has been waiting all along.
Hypnosis is simply the key that unlocks your Superconscious—the doorway to all your intuitive and manifesting Superpowers. We're all born with this gift; I'm just here to help you remember it.